Monday Morning Sentimonies: Fine Time

This past week the CFL announced the teams that exceeded the Salary Management System (SMS) limits in 2024. Four teams made that list, including the Riders. It marks the 5^th time since the SMS was introduced in 2007 that the Riders have been fined.

But here’s the deal with SMS violations, there are two tiers. The first is equivalent to a parking ticket. Yeah you’d prefer to avoid them but you begrudgingly part with a small amount of money and move on. That’s the tier the Riders have always fallen into. Exceed the cap by less than $100k and it’s a dollar for dollar fine. This year it’s $40,000.

The reaction has been a solid “meh” as it should be. The Riders were over mostly due to injuries but even if there wasn’t an excuse I’m pro “spend the money and incur the fine if gives you a better chance to win”.  Craig Reynolds will happily pay that fine… likely by increasing the prices for food and beverage.

Now there is of course a second tier of SMS violations that the Riders have thus far avoided. The BC Lions opted to dive head first into it in 2024. While the speeding ticket tier is easy to explain. Explaining this second tier honestly feels a lot like the Nate Bargatze George Washington skit.

Washington – There will be two ways to address those who significantly exceed the cap. One will make sense, one will be super random. Our great league will use the random one.

Washington – We will punish big time offenders by taking away their draft picks.

Soldier – They will forfeit them?

Washington – If only it were that simple. We will take it away from the offender, move the pick to end of the round and give it to another team.

Soldier – But why sir?

Washington – Nobody knows. It will be allocated based on waiver priority.

Soldier – So if 2 picks are forfeited the second one would go to the team with second waiver priority?

Washington – No, it goes only to the first team of course. But the teams that lose its picks will still be eligible to be gifted picks back for following other rules. Even if they only managed to earn such picks by violating the salary rules.

Soldier – And picks forfeited due to the supplemental draft, they will be reallocated using this process to?

Washington – No, we will be ok with just regular forfeiture in that case.

Soldier – But why all this complexity sir?

Washington – Liberty, son.

If you continued reading through my mediocre attempts to satire popular culture congratulations. All that is to say, BC got fined many butt loads of money (like more than the Riders have been fined in their 5 violations combined) and lose their 1^st and 2^nd round pick. But they get a bonus 2^nd rounder for having the most snaps played by Canadians (snaps they only got because they said FU to the salary cap and paid Rourke and Betts a ton of money). BC bet big in 2025 and lost. 

As for Calgary, in the whacky world that is the CFL they gave up the 9^th overall pick to BC as part of the Vernon Adams trade but now get that pick and one more back from BC (8^th and 17^th) due to SMS violations. The good news is that based on their trajectory over the past few seasons, the Stampeders are very likely to find a way to continue sucking despite this unearned gift of draft picks. 

Its not like its even that hard to inject to logic back into this process. Take away the picks from BC. Add them to the end of the 8^th round and award them by waiver priority, 1 to Calgary, 1 to Hamilton. But, much like Bartgaze does to Kenan Thompson, when the fans ask for logic the CFL just gives us a dismissive pat on the shoulder.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Villains

Ed Hervey set off shock waves this past week by saying there are no superstars in the CFL It vaulted him to the top of the hatred list across the league almost immediately. Hervey, who is no stranger to not being liked, couldn’t care less. He is perfectly fine playing the villain. It got me thinking about the great villains in my time following the CFL. So this morning we will take look back at some of the top CFL villains.

Simoni Lawrence – Probably the most universally disliked person across the league over the last few years. He has amassed a list of cheap shots across the CFL. Rider fans will remember when he singled handedly ended the Collaros era in Riderville.

Wally Buono – Buono is a CFL legend and actually a decent guy but there are few things on the prairies that unite people like yelling “Get off the field Wally!”

Henry Burris – Burris will always be public enemy #1 in Saskatchewan. His time in Calgary led to a heated rivalry, full of HHHEENNNRRRYY chants and Burris often choking in playoff games against the Riders. 

One of my favourite memories of the rivalry was the infamous bra picture from the birthday, bachelor party for cancer research.

 

Jon Cornish – Another villain from the height of the Stamps/Riders rivalry. He actually went so far as to moon the fans at Mosaic.

Khalif Mitchell – He delivered a UFC calibre armbar during a game trying to rip off an o-lineman’s arm. He also had some not so appropriate views on other cultures

Garrett Marino – He was approaching Simoni level hatred before he was essentially blackballed from the league. People certainly did not care for his comments about people’s heritage… but its ok because his girlfriend is black.

Rob Murphy – Murphy was very hated. I distinctly remember him choking out John Chick during a game (and not getting penalized)… though in retrospect people may be far more ok with it.

Scott Schultz – Beloved on the prairies I’m sure that comments like “Fat and sassy pigs” and “I’d make the hit on Jesus Christ himself” probably did not endear himself to other fans.

Angelo Mosca/Joe Kapp – The most famous old man fight in sporting history.

Chris Jones – I probably don’t need to expand on this. Jones is not on many Christmas card list.

 

 

Monday Morning Sentimonies: All-Hatred Team

Its becoming commonplace for people to do all-time teams, all-decade teams etc… While I am certainly not above stealing other people’s ideas in a effort to be lazier, I have decided to do a very different slant on this one. 

Over the years there have been many Riders that I have hated. And I am not talking about hated because they were a horrible human beings. I am talking hated because of what they did on the field. Sometimes they were what you might call unjustified hatreds. But hatreds nonetheless. 

So with that I present to you the all-hatred Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Let’s start on defense. I honestly could not think of D-lineman that was ever on my hatred list (I’m sure there are some, I just can’t think of any). So let’s skip that position. 

LB:

-        Shae Emry – this one was more about the fact that we traded Ricky Foley to get him and then he decided to abruptly stop being a useful starting Canadian.

-        Mo Lloyd – Lloyd is on the list not because I hate him (loved Mo) but in honour of a buddy of mine who hated him because he refused to wrap up when he tackled.

DB:

-        Junion Mertile – I have not forgotten his “attempt” at a tackle.

-        Amari Henderson – Frustrating player to watch on any play that wasn’t breaking up a screen.

-        Nelson Lokmobo – This will surprise no one who read this blog this season.

-        Blace Brown – Like Henderson, a very frustrating player.

-        James Johnson – Many people will point to his status as Grey Cup MVP to try and argue my hatred but in every other game when he had to play a pro-caliber QB he was an absolute liability. 

Special Team:

-        Kicker – Chris Milo – Didn’t so much hate him as hate the fact that his kicks were magnetically attracted to doinking the goal posts at an unprecedented rate.

-        Punter – Jon Ryan – I know it always risks revoking my Saskatchewan citizenship when I say this but I hated Jon Ryan when we was a Rider. Probably more specifically I hated how everyone in the province adored him and lauded his abilities when all visual evidence disagreed. He may have world class kicking strength and he may have been an elite NFL punter but when he was in Regina he was just a guy who had no clue how to directional kick and either outkicked his coverage to the dead centre of the field or sacrificed field position to pad his stats with useless singles.

Turning to the offense:

OL:

-        Dan Goodspeed – Great CFL tackle, who was a shadow of his former self by the time he came to Saskatchewan. I said his last name was false advertising and dubbed him Dan Badslow.

-        Evan Johnson – James Johnson would have been a more useful guard.

-        Pat Neufeld – He left Saskatchewan and went on a have a great career but in his time in Regina he was a liability on the OL.

-        Dan Clark (as guard) – Dan Clark is an amazing story. Great guy. Great leader. Great 6^th OL who caught TDs. Went on to become a solid centre. But when he first became a starter as a guard he was awful. Worse than Evan Johnson. Still partially blame him for Durant’s elbow injury in 2014.

-        Charles Thomas – Going back a bit further in time on this one but there was a reason people called him turnstile. And he’s awfulness really stood out because he played on a line with 3 CFL linemen of year and perennial all-star centre O’Day. 

RB

-        Henri Childs – Childs gets a bad rep mostly because we essentially gave up a first round pick to get him. There was more to the deal but Tillman really touted Childs and paid handsomely to get him from Montreal. Problem was as an RB he ran with the aggressiveness of a baby deer/ballerina combo.

WR

-        Prechae Rodriguez – He was a one trick pony (jump ball deep) who was not big on things like effort, improving and even being that good at his one trick.

-        Jason French -  He was as the actual French might say “Le Terrible”

-        Ryan Grice-Mullen – Single handedly (greased handedly) tried to lose us the 2010 Weft Final.

-        Chris Getzlaf – Look I respect Getzlaf, he put up a ton of yards, scored a bunch of big TDs, had a great career. But he could have easily doubled his already impressive career stats had he actually been able to catch with some degree of consistency and not play half the time like he coated his hands in Crisco.

And lasty but not least everyone’s most hated position…QB:

Starter: Michael Bishop

My all time most hated player. How anyone ever let this guy onto the field for any play but a hail mary after watching any film is beyond me. He had a complete inability to throw to the right coloured jersey, maintain possession or put together a drive. I still get mad when I think about how good the defense was in 2008 and how even a mildly competent QB could have won us that playoff game in ’08. Bishop has never even come close to hitting the “mildly competent” marker. 

Back-Up: Nealon Greene

Greene was the prototypical QB who rose to prominence because he could do amazing things with his legs only to fall to pieces when defenses figured out that all they had to do was force him to pass and he would have all the usefulness an air conditioner in the arctic. Always wonder how different things could have been had Shivers/Barrett not inexplicably chosen Greene over Burris after 2004. 

3^rd String: Brandon Bridge

Look, he was a good guy and its always nice to root for a Canadian but he sucked. Like if he was not Canadian he would not have even been invited to a CFL camp. People always called him athletic… he was not. He was not a great runner and usually ended up fumbling when he did and his “strong arm” was only good missing the intended target by a wide margin, those rare times he made the right read and did not panic himself into failure.

Who is on your hatred list?

Monday Morning Semtimoines: Theme Nights

Before long the Riders will be unveiling their “new” and “innovative” theme nights for the 2025 home schedule. I’m sure we can all predict with some level of certainty that it will be same recycled list as every year: Home Opener, Country Night, Retro Night, Labour Day, Legends Night, Fan Appreciation Day, etc… For the Simpsons fans among you “but she has a new hat” pretty much summarizes it. They may change the name (clearly there are stark differences between country night and prairie pride night) but its always the same, year after year.

So for today’s post we are going to look at some ideas for theme nights that don’t just involve phototyping last year’s list and calling it marketing.

Actual Retro Night – Alright I realize it’s a bold choice to make fun of the Riders’ lack of creativity and then start my list by just recycling a night that’s been done ad nauseum… but hear me out. I don’t want the Riders’ half assed versions of retro night. I want all in. I want old school Gainer (pre-creepy eyes) AND cousin Leonard. I want the entirely black faceless Worksafe Bob. I want drink tokens and bars that offers me only my choice of rye, rum or Pink Drink. Retro night needs pink drink. I want paper 50/50 tickets that are drawn from a raffle drum from a 1950s bingo hall. Retro prices on food on food and drinks. Rename Pil Place Hemorrhoid Hill. Re-create a one night only university section that offers cheap tickets. Put a hot tub beside and assume nothing bad will come of that.  Riders in 90s style jerseys. I want the full Taylor Field experience. Lean into it fully and it could be awesome.

Wrestling Night – With WWE now on Netflix, popularity of wrestling is at levels not seen in a long, long time. Get in on that. Encourage fans to come dressed as their favourite wrestler. Have Bret Hart do the coin toss. Better yet have someone dressed in a Bomber jersey about to do the coin toss then have them get hit with a chair and then have Bret step in. Have players cut promos leading up to the game. Partner with the local wrestling promotion to put on a match at half time. Make it a couple celebrities teaming with wrestlers and build hype leading up to the contest. Hell if you promoted that there was a chance Ballsy gets put through a table it would make it the must see event of the year. Sell Rider branded championship belts and luchador masks. Bring back Kulkamania (does anyone but me remember that?). Have a ref get “knocked out” inadvertently at some point (say when a measurement is required) and have another ref come sprinting from the tunnel. Invite the Road Dogg to do intros in the traditional New Age Outlaws way “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Saskatchewan Roughriders proudly bring to you…”. Last but not least, gratuitous crotch chops.

Social Media Night – Admittedly I’m too old to care about this one but I think it would be a hit with young fans. Now understand I know very little about all of this so someone younger and more with it would need to fully flesh this out. Have alternate streams of the game on YouTube or Twitch. Have local influencers take part. Encourage fans to post on IG Live have hashtag contests. Basically turn the game into something that everyone over the age of 40 would hate/not understand. Focus one game exclusively on young fans. 

Sci Fi Night – This is basically Star Wars night but you are trying to avoid copyright infringement. Have people dress up as their favourite Sci Fi character. Sell green lightsabers and phasers. Have Gainer show up in a Green tardis. Just find the biggest nerd you can and let them plan it.

Simpsons Night - Ok, this one might be a bit self-serving but I think it could be fun.  Have the Riders wear Atoms jerseys in warm-ups. Sell nacho sombreros, squishies, pink donuts, Duff beer, Krusty burgers. There are so many classic football scenes from the show you could spoof: I liked your hustle that's why it was so hard to cut you; I crippled him myself to inspire you; the Denver Broncos!; Flanders! Games out there!; football in the groin.

Chippendale/Thunder From Down Under Night - Logic here is simple. Ripped dudes with their shirt off will attract women. Where large groups of women congregate, men will invariably follow.

Fowl Supper Night – Few things are more Saskatchewan than a fowl supper. Have your concessions be like a small town Fowl Supper. I’m talking turkey, stuffing, pie, etc…

F Trudeau Night – Look I have no particular political leanings but all I’m saying is based purely on sales of vehicle decals on the prairies, labelling a game F Trudeau night may lead to record ticket sales. Whether it’s a good thing to have a large gathering of that demographic is a debate for another day… this is purely about filling the stadium.

What theme nights would you like to see?