After a one year hiatus we are back. That scheduling interruption now has this as the 13th Annual Awards… even though use of the term “annual” is used lightly since the first awards were in 2007. You do the math.
This year’s award winners get a gift basket containing a wide array of Hamilton Ti-Cat Grey Cup Champion merchandise. After losses in ’13, ’14, ’19 and ’21 we need to clear this stuff out somehow because even third world countries have too much of it and will no longer accept it.
Let’s get to the awards.
Best Player Name
I was really pulling for QB Luke Falk to make the Riders
because I would have milked that for all it was worth. Sadly we were all denied
that joy. So the winner goes to Stampeder receiver Luther Hakunavanhu. It’s
actually not as hard to pronounce as it looks. But what makes it noteworthy is how
professionally TSN handled pronouncing it. Now I, as an obscure blogger/dude
who watches form my couch, have no issues pointing out that it sounds like Hakuna
Matata. But the announcers paid to do this should probably attempt a shred of
professionalism. Clearly they did not prep for Hakunavanhu to do anything relevant
because when he made a big catch and it was time to say his name, they didn’t
even really try and just went straight for Hukuna Matata. Not a good look when
your level of professionalism is on the same level as a dude who recreationally
wears a robe.
Previous Winners: Guillermo Villabos, Armegedon Draughns, Rakeem Cox, Akawasi Owusu-Ansah, Lirim Hajrullahu, SirVincent Rogers, Drew Willy, Bear Woods, Solomon Elimimian, Craphonso Thorpe, Charleston Hughes, Chijioke Onyenegecha
Quote of the Year
In a first for these awards, the Quote of the Year is not
going to a player or a coach. It’s going to a referee. It was week 15 and the
Elks were in town for a match-up with the Riders. In a shockingly rare
occurrence, Craig Dickenson opted to use a timeout (in a not shocking turn of
events it was a terrible time to use one, as it was on the first play of the
second half.) Tom Vellesi alerted the world to this by announcing “Time out
Saskatchewan…” but then, clearly forgetting his mic was still live he added
“Fuck Them”.
Tom Vellesi may have to explain this one. What in the name of Jake Ireland is this? #riderslive #Saskatchewan #CFL #CFLGameday pic.twitter.com/FCWt1Uuq7L
— Paul (@ticatsroar) November 13, 2021
Vellesi was indeed fined for this… something I think is
ridiculous. I personally found it funny and welcome a world where refs openly
curse at team. Lord knows the reverse has been happening since the beginning of
time.
Previous Winners: Cody Fajardo, Dave Dickenson, Kavis
Reed/Jacques Chapdelaine, Greg Quick, Solomon
Elimimian, Ed Hervey, Joe Mack, Henry Burris, Eddie Johnson, Jason Clermont,
Mike Abou-Mechrek x2
Play of the
Year
October 30th was the date, it was late in the 4th
quarter of a game between the Argos and Lions. The Argos were clinging to a 1
point lead. They blocked a potential game winning FG attempt taking over
possession with 45 seconds left on the clock. Should have been an easy victory.
What followed was one of the worst displays of coaching I have ever seen and I
lived through the coaching careers of Mike Kelly, Kavis Reed and Danny
Maccioccia.
Not realizing that BC still had both timeouts. The Argos go
victory formation and kneel. BC calls a timeout with 38 seconds left. Now at
this point you would think that Dinwiddie would have realized the error of his
ways (things happen you forget about timeouts) but he calls a second kneel…
knowing full well that it won’t end the game. Another timeout and suddenly the
Argos have to punt from their own 9 yard line with 18 seconds left… without
even attempting to run a real play.
To complete the stupidly cycle, BC got the ball back and
marched to the 30 yard line… only to miss the FG forcing overtime with a single
point. The Argos ended up winning in OT but I maintain that win should be
revoked due to excess stupidity of coaching.
Botched Call
of the Year
Let me preface this with saying that I don’t think it would
have changed the outcome of the game. In the Banjo Bowl, a melee broke out after
a Bomber TD. A lot of stuff was happening and 2 Riders ended up getting ejected
(and deservedly so) but a ref had a front row seat to see Andrew Harris grab
the facemask of a Rider defender and proceed to rip the helmet off him while
tossing him to the ground. Not in the middle of a pile, not off to the side…
directly in front of a referee. And yet, he did not get ejected. Apparently punching
a guy in the helmet is a super dangerous play but forcibly removing someone’s protective
gear while throwing them to the ground is super safe.
The
Commercial I Didn’t Get Sick of Seeing Even Though TSN Made Me Watch It 54,297
Times Award
Well I certainly did get sick of Steven Lee Olsen. I hope
whatever TSN paid his was worth it because I think we’d all rather compliment
Bo Levi Mitchell profusely than ever hear Olsen’s music played ever again.
It was a pretty lacklustre year for commercials, yet again but the one I did actually enjoy was the Tide commercial where Ice T and Stone Cold call Mark Mess-ey-eur. Its not a particularly great commercial other than the blatant mispronouncing of Messier but I think it would be wild to time travel back to like 1998 and tell people that Ice T and Stone Cold Steve Austin would one day be promoting laundry detergent. You would have got stunnered/shanked for even suggesting it.
Most Insulted Sports Figure
I insulted a lot of people in the Rider organization this
season. So competition for this award was fierce. Nick Marshall, Jason Maas,
Fajardo, Dickenson, Blace Brown, Christian Campbell… there was plenty to
critique.
But far and away a focus of pretty much every single post was how awful our O-line was… particularly our offensive tackles, who were quite frankly offensive. So I award this dubious honour to the trio of Offensive Tackles that did their best to pad the stats of opposing pass rushers. I have seen bad tackles in my time as a Rider fan, but I have never seen our entire line as awful as it was in 2021.
Previous
Winners: John Ryan, Brandon Bridge, Steve
McAdoo, The Riders Secondary, Any Rider QB not named Durant, Pat Neufeld, Chris
Getzlaf, Ryan Dinwiddie, Jim Daley, Michael Bishop x 2, Marcel Bellefeuille
Fans’ Choice
Douchebag of the Year
Rider fans love our villains. Henry Burris, Rob Murphy,
John Cornish… hell we spent and inordinate amount of time yelling at Wally
Buono to get off the field. Suffice to say our hatred list has a lifetime
membership.
So it is with this year’s winner, who first appeared in the voting last season, and I see being a perennial nominee going forward. He beat out the obscenity yelling/fan fighting John Murphy and all around douchebag Brock Sunderland.
With 51% of the vote (20% more than the next closest) you the fans have overwhelmingly selected Andrew Harris as your Douche-Bag of the Year. It was ripping the helmet off our player that really secured it but I get the sense that we all feel his general levels of douchebaggery are naturally elevated… its about the only levels of his that are naturally elevated.
Previous Winners:
Simoni Lawrence, Jason Maas x2, Cory Chamblin, Chris Jones, Jon Cornish x2,
Henry Burris, Dwight Anderson, Mike Kelly, Jason Jimenez, Rob Murphy