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So these awards have
reached an amazing milestone as this is the tenth time I am handing them out. I
use the term "annual-ish" though because apparently I didn’t bother doing these
last year… not really sure why but the official story is that I was preoccupied
tending to orphans and volunteering for the underprivileged. But enough
outright lies from me… let’s get to the awards.
In honour of our tenth
anniversary award recipients will get the biggest prize package in the history
of the awards. The bar for that is of course set extremely low as there has
never been an actual prize handed out (my original plan to call them the golden
rod’s hit a legal snafu with an adult film company). This year’s prize is the
winner’s choice of either 2016 or 2017 Calgary Stampeder Grey Cup Champion
hats… for some reason they were looking is dispose of a ton of both of them.
Best Player Name
It was really a lacklustre
year for quality player names. I mean previous winners like Willy, SirVincent and
Lirim Hulahoops are still around but we were lacking in new entrants into the
category. So with limited options I had to go with a predictable but still
always popular around these parts option…
Rakeem Cox
I like Cox, what can I
say?
Previous Winners: Akawasi Owusu-Ansah, Lirim Hajrullahu, SirVincent Rogers, Drew Willy,
Bear Woods, Solomon Elimimian, Craphonso Thorpe, Charleston Hughes, Chijioke
Onyenegecha
Quote of the Year
Honourable mention to the
Rider defense following the Duron Carter Pick 6… “Hey Bo, he’s still your best
receiver.” But this year’s winner gets the nod not for comedic merit (as
usually occurs) but pure ineptitude. The co-winners for 2017 are Kavis Reed and
Jacques Chapdelaine for their explanation of the Bear Woods release.
Kavis: This was a football decision
Chapdelaine: This was not a football decision
Way to get your stories
straight guys. Unsurprisingly this was the tip of the iceberg of a leadership
situation in Montreal doomed for failure.
Previous Winners: Greg Quick, Solomon
Elimimian, Ed Hervey, Joe Mack, Henry Burris, Eddie Johnson, Jason Clermont,
Mike Abou-Mechrek x2
Play of the Year
Many plays this year
entertained me. Such as Crezdon Butler bouncing off the uprights (though it
wasn’t so funny at the time) or Duron Carter making a first down and then cheap
shotting the defender. The runner up was for Rider Tevaughn Campbell giving up
a safety on an interception and in most other years it would have won. But
while my Play of the Year for 2017 happened on the football field it was not a
football play.
In the video below you
will see Simoni Lawrence steal Antonio Pipkin’s towel and it devolve into a
game of keep away where Pipkin looked as helpless as a nerdy grade schooler. Hilarious!
— Marshall Ferguson (@TSN_Marsh) November 5, 2017
Botched Call of the Year
This tends to be the most
difficult award to hand out as there are literally dozens of potential winners
each week. But while botched calls are nothing new to the CFL (particularly the
Command Centre it seems), few have ever had such large and public consequences as what
happened on July 13.
Ryan Lankford had already
scored a kick return TD and in the second quarter Martese Jackson also broke
free. CFL fans far and wide know what 2 kick return TDs mean… $1 million
dollars in Safeway touchdown to win! What a glorious moment! Karen had won $1
million and the CFL world was full of excitement. But wait… the was a flag on
the play. Sure a great PR story for the league was about to occur but who has
time for that when minimal contact has occurred on an opposing player that in
no way affected the play?
To their credit, the CFL
and its sponsors were quick to give poor Karen a lot of consolations prizes but
it was no million dollars and it was only after the damage of a bogus call had
already been done.
#WhatAboutKaren
The Commercial I Didn’t Get Sick of Seeing Even
Though TSN Made Me Watch It 54,297 Times Award
In a first for this award
we have a repeat winner. This is not really a reflection of how good the
commercial is but rather a reflection on just how little effort advertisers put
into in game commercials. The Buck Pierce BelAirDirect insurance commercial where Craig Butler destroys him wins again.
I can't actually track down a video of the commercial anymore as it seems that like most of Buck Pierce's memories predating that hit, it has vanished.
Most Insulted Sports Figure
This should come as no
surprise to anyone to regularly reads the space. My hate list is decidedly lean
of late (generally a good sign for the team’s performance). While I wish Bakari
Grant would not wear sleeves and I make not attempt to hide my lack of Dan
Clark love, one person stands above all others in terms of those I’ve insulted
this year. Offensive Coordinator Steve McAdoo. From his seemingly religious
based aversion to running, to his insistence on randomly inserting the 3rd
string QB at the most inopportune times, to his inability to adjust his play
calling when adversity hits, I had many choice words about Mr. McAdoo (many of
which were curse words). I guess the good news for us is that he wasn’t the
least successful McAdoo in the football coaching world this year.
Previous
Winners: The Riders Secondary,
Any Rider QB not named Durant, Pat Neufeld, Chris Getzlaf, Ryan Dinwiddie, Jim
Daley, Michael Bishop x 2, Marcel Bellefeuille
Fans’ Choice Douche-Bag of the Year
You the fans have spoken
yet again… and resoundingly so. In the largest majority in this history of this
award (shattering the previous mark of 66%), you the fans have decided that
with 78% (93 out of a possible 119 votes) Jason Maas is your Douche Bag of the
Year.
It should really come as
no surprise. Maas has a face only a mother could love and an attitude that only
the blind and deaf could love. He throws more temper tantrums than a toddler.
He breaks equipment. He berates his own staff. He rolls his eyes. He has
unwavering belief in the power of the field goal. By the end of the season it
got so bad that TSN essentially had a camera devoted to him looking to catch his
tirades.
So congratulations to the
most unanimous douche bag in the illustrious history of this award.
Previous Winners: Cory Chamblin, Chris Jones, Jon Cornish x2, Henry Burris, Dwight
Anderson, Mike Kelly, Jason Jimenez, Rob Murphy
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