Twas just
before the season and fans were uptight
Musing “it
can’t be worse than last year. Right?”
The paper
bags were cautiously stored in hidden places
In the hopes
they would not needed to cover our faces
When who
should stroll in to speak to the masses?
No not Santa, its Rider Prophet you asses!
So get
yourself comfy and allow me to preach
On the highs
and lows that the Riders will reach
In 2016
there’s a new sheriff in town
He’s dressed
all in black and he’s wearing a frown.
He got rid
of everything he possible could
Had he been
able to cut the hot dog vendors he probably would
When he cut
half our team, most didn’t even twitch
But cut
Dressler and Chick? You son of a *$*^$!!!
Gone Getz,
gone Brack, it got kinda scary
But not all
bad news, gone Tino Sunseri!
Jones
brought all his coaches that just won the Cup
He blew up
our team and must now build it up.
On offense,
all eyes will be on #4
If he goes
down, there’s no chance we score
Fear not for
Durant will return to form
Top end play
will once again be his norm
His go to
guys will be Roosevelt and Bagg
Rob will
lead in catches, most TDs will Namaan snag
1000 yard
receivers? There will be one, if any
But 600+ yrd
receivers there will be many
We have lots
of weapons and will spread it around
Only concern
is our attack on the ground
Steele is
mediocre and Walter is too
By the end
of the season our starter will be new
It will take
a while for this unit to gel
But when
they do, up the standings we’ll propel
Defense has
its good points and bad
But it can’t
possibly be worse than last year… man that was sad!
Lemon,
Irvin, Capicciotti damn that pass rush is good!
It gets even
better with a healthy Norwood
Greg Jones
in the middle will be a tackling machine
Otha Foster
will be one the best adds by the white and green
Our front 7
will be disruptive and force many a takeaway
But our
secondary concerns me, I’m sorry to say
They have
the right players but as a unit they’ll struggle
If I knew
more about Harry Potter, I’d rhyme this with muggle
The
configuration of the secondary will change at least 4 times
Here’s a
bold prediction, we’ll also land Aaron Grymes
Jones will
eventually mold the DBs into top tier
But for the
first few games, expect bad things, I fear
I see 9 wins
in store which isn’t too shabby
But how we
will get there won’t make many happy
The first
half will be rough, there will be growing pains
Which will
cause the masses to get out pitch forks and chains.
“I knew
Jones was bum!” will come the cries hour after hour
“He cut way
too many. He was drunk with power”
Some will
even say we should have kept Taman I have a hunch
You nave my
permission to give such people a punch
3-6 is how
we’ll open, you can count on that
The fans
will be livid… but Jones won’t give a crap
He’ll keep
working and tinkering until things improve
The tide
will turn at Labour Day (where you know we can’t lose)
It will look
like a new team in the back-half of the race
We’ll finish
9-9, good for third place
A west-semi
battle against the arch-rival Stamps.
But don’t
get your hopes up, we won’t end up champs
We'll have an early exit, no post season success
A disappointing end but tremendous progress
So that’s
how I see it, I say with a cry
Now will
someone please get me a rye
If you don’t
like my predictions, have no fear
As with most
seasons, I was way off last year
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