Official 2016 Predictions

Twas just before the season and fans were uptight

Musing “it can’t be worse than last year. Right?”

The paper bags were cautiously stored in hidden places

In the hopes they would not needed to cover our faces

When who should stroll in to speak to the masses?

No not Santa, its Rider Prophet you asses!

So get yourself comfy and allow me to preach

On the highs and lows that the Riders will reach

In 2016 there’s a new sheriff in town

He’s dressed all in black and he’s wearing a frown.

He got rid of everything he possible could

Had he been able to cut the hot dog vendors he probably would

When he cut half our team, most didn’t even twitch

But cut Dressler and Chick? You son of a *$*^$!!!

Gone Getz, gone Brack, it got kinda scary

But not all bad news, gone Tino Sunseri!

Jones brought all his coaches that just won the Cup

He blew up our team and must now build it up.

On offense, all eyes will be on #4

If he goes down, there’s no chance we score

Fear not for Durant will return to form

Top end play will once again be his norm

His go to guys will be Roosevelt and Bagg

Rob will lead in catches, most TDs will Namaan snag

1000 yard receivers? There will be one, if any

But 600+ yrd receivers there will be many

We have lots of weapons and will spread it around

Only concern is our attack on the ground

Steele is mediocre and Walter is too

By the end of the season our starter will be new

It will take a while for this unit to gel

But when they do, up the standings we’ll propel

Defense has its good points and bad

But it can’t possibly be worse than last year… man that was sad!

Lemon, Irvin, Capicciotti damn that pass rush is good!

It gets even better with a healthy Norwood

Greg Jones in the middle will be a tackling machine

Otha Foster will be one the best adds by the white and green

Our front 7 will be disruptive and force many a takeaway

But our secondary concerns me, I’m sorry to say

They have the right players but as a unit they’ll struggle

If I knew more about Harry Potter, I’d rhyme this with muggle

The configuration of the secondary will change at least 4 times

Here’s a bold prediction, we’ll also land Aaron Grymes

Jones will eventually mold the DBs into top tier

But for the first few games, expect bad things, I fear

I see 9 wins in store which isn’t too shabby

But how we will get there won’t make many happy

The first half will be rough, there will be growing pains

Which will cause the masses to get out pitch forks and chains.

“I knew Jones was bum!” will come the cries hour after hour

“He cut way too many. He was drunk with power”

Some will even say we should have kept Taman I have a hunch

You nave my permission to give such people a punch

3-6 is how we’ll open, you can count on that

The fans will be livid… but Jones won’t give a crap

He’ll keep working and tinkering until things improve

The tide will turn at Labour Day (where you know we can’t lose)

It will look like a new team in the back-half of the race

We’ll finish 9-9, good for third place

A west-semi battle against the arch-rival Stamps.

But don’t get your hopes up, we won’t end up champs

We'll have an early exit, no post season success

A disappointing end but tremendous progress

 

So that’s how I see it, I say with a cry

Now will someone please get me a rye

If you don’t like my predictions, have no fear

As with most seasons, I was way off last year