Twas
7 months since the Grey Cup and there was much debate
“Where
is Prophet with his predictions? It’s getting quite late
Does
he not know that the season is starting?
Shouldn’t
he be here making jokes about farting?”
Last
year was surreal but the fans want to know what’s in store.
Should
they be happy with one Cup? Could they hope for more?
Well
fear not faithful readers, for I am here
To
prophecy on what will occur this year.
It’s
back to reality, the Grey Cup hangover has ceased
There
have been departures, we are no longer the beasts
Gone
Sholo, gone Butler. Sheets and Dressler too
But
it’s not all bad news, Sisco’s gone too.
We’ve
got holes to fill, our roster is less stacked
But
that’s no reason why you shouldn’t be jacked.
Our
core is still solid, some second to none.
We’ve
got all the tools to make another run.
With
Cortez making calls, Durant will continue to be a star
Under
DD’s leadership the offense will go far
We’ve
got less big names but that’s no reason to fret
We
will still have a top 3 offense I bet.
Taj
will set new career highs as the go to guy
Getz
will get another 1000 but at times make you need rye
The
other receivers will share the ball
They’ll
all get their touches but Swain will the best of the all
Toston
will provide a credible run attack
At
least until September when Sheets will be back.
Defense
will need to be our strength and win us some games
As
the offense goes through early growing pains
I
would put our secondary up against any one
They’ll
have the most INTs when it’s all said and done.
We
will show early weakness up front and get burned by the run
Richie
Hall will be cursed heavily by some.
But
someone not on our roster will step in at DT
And
Kilgore will be solid upon return from injury.
The
battle for top defensive player will be
Between
Weldon Brown and Ricky Foley
On
teams our coverage will start shaky but improve
Woldu
and McHenry will lead them back into a groove
Milo
will be rock solid and as for Bartel
His
kicks will be so good that “Crikey” will we yell (for that line to be even remotely humorous you need to say Crikey in
your best Crocodile Hunter voice)
As
for predictions on teams, I’ll give you one more
Marshay
Green will take a kick to the house by game 4.
We
will start slow and people will doubt
They’ll
be happy with last year and count us out.
At 3
and 4 most will admit defeat
And
give up on the dream of a repeat
But
the players and coaches will not give up
They
will not be satisfied with just one cup
The
roster will be tweaked and our record will start mending
And
from the down in the standings we will start ascending.
Though
we will be counted out early we will finish 2nd. Great!
A
home playoff game at 10 and 8.
In
what will seem like déjà vu, the Lions we will slay
In
the West Semi on a cold November day.
Then
it’s back to Calgary, a familiar scene
Some
speckles of red amidst and sea of green
It
won’t be as dominating as last year but we will again prevail
With
Durant leading by action, we will not fail
It
will be the Argos as opponents we will find.
The
game will be close but we will fall short in the end
Our
championship status we will not defend.
So
that’s how I see 2014 going, cue the ovation
An
up and down season that exceeds expectation
But
don’t worry that I’ve picked a sad end, that’s alright
For
in 7 years of predictions I’ve never got the end right
So
in predicting that we won’t win the Cup
The
odds of us doing so has actually gone up.
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