Rider Prophet Salutes US Expansion: Miami Manatees

Today we wrap up our salute to US Expansion with a look at the worst CFL team that never was. 

The idea for a team in Miami came up prior to the 1995 season. Plans were made to purchase the Las Vegas Posse… or at least their tattered remains… and launch the Miami Manatees in time for 1996 season.

They even staged an exhibition game at the Orange Bowl between Birmingham and Baltimore to introduce the Canadian game to Florida. The game was very poorly attended. While there were likely many factors that led to this, one major factor may have been the fact that Miami football fans found it hard to take a match up between two teams called the Cudas and the CFLers, seriously.  

Years in the League: None, thank goodness

Overall Record: n/a

Notable Players: Gamzo (an actual manatee that was adopted in honour of the team)

The Good

- Thankfully the CFL dodged a bullet and never had to associate itself with a team called the Manatees.

- As if that logo isn’t awesome.

The Bad

- The name Manatees. Also known as the sea cow. While it may be an intimidating moniker when you are talking about an overweight woman, it definitely isn’t when talking about a football team… unless it was a football team of overweight women.

- A portion of ticket sales for the team was to be donated to save the manatees. While I’m all for teams and players supporting charities and the community, I’ll be damned if I’ll respect a team that supports dirty hippies and their stupid causes. It also makes no sense since I doubt the hippies that care about saving the manatees more than they care about personal hygiene even watch football. From a marketing perspective you would have had more success donating proceeds to causes like “punch the manatees” or “nuke the whales”. Now that’s something I would support!

 

Fate

League suspended US operations in 1995 so the plans never came to fruition. The Manatees were banished the footnotes of CFL history.

Video Evidence

There's this...

This hilarious song about manatees....

Or this...