Rider Prophet Salutes Bad Team Names: League Award

*The following post was pre-written to accommodate the fact the Rider Prophet is currently in Las Vegas and likely in no condition to operate a computing device. Barring any legal complications the Rider Prophet will be back from his vacation and resume regular posting on Monday.

As you’ve seen throughout our ongoing salute, there are bad team names in virtually every sport, at every level and in every league. But when I came across the subject of today’s salute, I knew that they were in a league of their own when it came to bad team names.

Bare in mind while reading the flowing that the league I’m talking about is the 2nd oldest basketball league in the world (second only to the NBA)…

Worst Collective Effort – Philippine Basketball Association



We start out with a few teams that aren’t that bad (nothing to brag about but still respectable)
- Alaska Aces
- Barangay Ginebra Kings

Then things start getting slightly worse when corporate influences start to take over:
- Coca Cola Tigers
- Barako Bull Energy Boosters
- Burger King Batang BK
- Sam Miguel Beermen
- Sta. Lucia Realtors

Then we get to the teams that take corporate sponsorship to hilarious new lows:
- Rain or Shine Elpaso Painters – was the Rain or Shine part really necessary? And besides who the hell paints in the rain?!

- Purefoods Tender Juicy Giants – As terrible a name as Tender Juicy Giants is, it’s actually a remarkable improvement over their previous team name… the Corned Beef Cowboys.

And finally, we get one of the worst team names I’ve come across yet…


the mighty Talk N’ Text Tropang Texters who are the reigning Philippine Cup Champions. When the best team in your league is called the Texters you deserve to be the laughingstock of the professional sporting world.

And of course a salute to the PBA wouldn’t be complete without acknowledging the historical contributions of the now defunct Crispa Redmanizers and Toyota Super Corollas

So congratulations PBA for giving the sporting world so many bad team names that you warranted your own post.